Helen vs the Flying Beast

Imagine my horror last night: I was watching a great movie after a relaxing (3 hour nap) and productive (nice workout) day when I saw a huge roach crawling on top of my TV. Having an uttermost fear of giant roaches (and this one was the size of my pinkie), my brain immediately kicked into gear trying to devise a plan to overcome my fears and kill the intruder. Since I didn't have any bug spray (will own a can of the deadliest stuff by tonight for sure), I grabbed the only of the two sprays I had, the Green Cleaner, and a running shoe, and embarked on operation Kill the Roach. To my surprise and utter horror, this wasn't your regular slow-crawling bug---this was a flying and a very speedy one that managed to crawl/fly under the fridge after about 10 minutes of me spraying and chasing it around the apartment. I had to resort to doing other things until it re-emerged from hiding, at which point I knew that I wouldn't be able to sleep or stay in the apartment with the bug in it, so I HAD to kill it. Not knowing what to do and still being utterly terrified of getting too close to it (the thing could fly!!!), I called the one person that has practical ideas for all situations: Meg. Her basic advice was to smash the thing, which, of course, was what I couldn't bring myself to do. Her roommate then got on the phone and devised a great plan which involved switching the organic cleaner spray to Windex (the only other thing I had in a spray version), careful positioning of all the tools in my hands, and strategically stunning the bug with Windex so that I could smack it with a magazine. He concluded the strategy session with an encouraging "just smash the @#%$! out of it." I must say that the pep talk really helped, and after another 15 minutes of waiting to see what the bug does and working through my fears, I DID IT!!!
So, the final score is: Helen-1, nasty flying creeper-crawler-0. In fact, he has been washed down the toilet, so I'd say that his score is somewhere around -10.

Happy 4th of July

A public service announcement about fireworks safety brought to you by Big Papi:
"Just sit back, relax, crack open a beer and let someone else light the fuse. So long as it's not Manny. Oh, and watch the eyebrows."

***For the uninitiated: Big Papi, aka David Ortiz, is a Red Sox designated hitter from the Dominican Republic who recently became a US citizen. Manny, aka Manny Ramirez, is another Red Sox slugger who is famous for his scatter-brained but hilarious ways. This is probably funnier if you know these characters, but I thought that everyone could benefit from the fireworks safety tips.

Helen versus Clogged Sink: Round 2

A few months ago I was having a friend over for dinner on a Saturday night (I cooked something...gasp!), and my kitchen sink decided to get clogged about the time my friend was getting there. The next day I, armed with the most potent de-clogging stuff Target had and a plunger, attacked the clog, and after several hours, I won the battle! The sense of empowerment and personal satisfaction can only be compared to the time when I used an electric drill to hang up a towel rack in my bathroom.

This past Saturday night the sink decided that it was time to get clogged again. This time, the countless attempts to attack it with a combination of the potent Liquid Plumr and energetic pumping with the plunger did not yield the desired results. I tried for about two days, after which I had to gather up my pride and call the apartment building maintenance crew (who, of course, fixed it with some magical tools---not sure how, I was at work).

So, if anyone is keeping score...Round 1: Helen-1, Clog-0; Round 2: Helen-0, Clog-1. I wonder if there is anything more potent than Liquid Plumr Foaming Pipe Snake on the market so that I can prepared for the next round (which hopefully won't come for a while). Of course, I could just call my resident friendly maintenance crew, but I refuse to go down without a fight.